Thanksgiving Football Follies

Posted: November 27, 2012 in Uncategorized

I hope everyone not only had an awesome Thanksgiving, but also an awesome fantasy week as well! I know I did…


Guess That I Don’t Need Tebow vs. So Call Me Brady

Celebrating Thanksgiving with the family is so much fun, especially when you’re playing each other, and you get the chance to talk a little trash and witness your team go on a demolition derby in front of them.  That’s what happened this past Thursday, when I got to watch my team amass somewhere around 150 points on Thursday night, much to Mary’s dismay. Somehow, it seemed like every time I turned around from cooking my Thanksgiving beer chili to watch some football, Arian Foster was doing this (see link):

Or Andre Johnson was doing this:

Or Roberto Griffin Tres was doing this:

Even Wes Welker got into the action:

Mary did not back down, as Tom Brady scored her 40 fantasy points, but even that couldn’t stop the Gotye rampage, as Julio Jones scored on an 80-yard touchdown and piled on another 34 fantasy points. Surely, it was revenge for their last matchup, when Brian Hartline had his career game Mary’s team nearly Benjamined me (that’s what my boss calls losing by 100 points).

In the end, even though Mary’s team performed well, she conceded the matchup, as my team put up the highest amount of points in a week this season. Take that John Bongratz!

Having all those points (from 4 of the top 9 scorers this week) makes me want to do some sort of a smug victory dance. Although when I did that on Thanksgiving day, Mary got mad, kicked me in the shin, and forced me to write this LM note. 😦 Oh well, here goes.

Vinegar Strokes vs. Bulaon Cube

In the closest game of the week, Kristine’s team BARELY edged out Jayson’s team. It was so close on Sunday night, it was decided by defensive points on early Monday morning, which Kristine eventually won, 174.5 – 171. It was a heartbreaking loss for Jayson, who had a great week from his entire team, especially from Dez Bryant (another big time Thanksgiving scorer), but yet again lost a close matchup. Team Bulaon Cube is now 1-3 in matchups decided by less than 4 fantasy points – a stat that hurts for a team in a close race for the playoffs.

Clutch Moves of the Week

Alas, we had an unspectacular trade deadline. I did put out offers for Roddy White, but Donna probably didn’t notice (I don’t know how you did it, Mary).

But that doesn’t mean there were some great GM moves by you guys out there. Mary picked up Mohamad Sanu early Saturday morning and started him, even though his projected ranking was 88th among active Wide Receivers! It paid off though, as he got 2 TDs and scored 20 fantasy points!

But Mary wasn’t the only person to benefit from picking up a Bengals player. Kristine picked up the Bengals D/ST on Friday morning after I dropped them (probably to get back at me for stealing Lawrence Tynes from her?), and they forced 2 turnovers and only allowed 10 points, earning them a hefty 20 fantasy points! Good job to both Mary and Kristine!

Not Clutch Move of the Week

Last weekend, Broncos starting RB Willis McGahee injured his MCL and is likely out for the rest of the regular season. In an effort to capitalize on those carries (and a strong Broncos schedule), Jayson and I both got at those Broncos RBs. Jayson picked up the higher ranked Ronnie Hillman, who was supposed to take the bulk of the carries, and I picked up the supposed backup Lance Ball.

But of course, the guy who gets the most carries is former 1st round bust, Knowshon Moreno, who Donna likes to call “No-Show Moreno” for his injury history and propensity for fumbling. Of course, this is the guy no one picked up. Instead, Moreno ends up rushing for over 100 yards, Hillman scores very little, and Ball doesn’t touch the ball at all. To make matters worse, I dropped the Bengals D/ST for Mr. Ball. Not clutch.

Football Follies

Seahawks Apparently Have ADD

The Seattle Seahawks have had an amazing defense this year, especially at home. Their secondary rivals only the Chicago Bears, and it’s anchored by their two Pro-Bowl caliber cornerbacks, Richard Sherman and Brandon Browner. But word got out that the two have tested positive for adderall, which is a drug for people with ADD. Richard Sherman claims he took a swig of a teammates bottle, that apparently had an adderall pill dissolved in it.

Maybe he should be a little more attentive and focus more on what he’s consuming. Hey, I know what would help with that!

Sprinklered Out

Another group of people who could use it are the guys running the field services at the Seattle-Miami game this past weekend. The sprinklers went off randomly in the middle of the third quarter, slightly delaying the game.

Bears vs. Vikings

Bears Offensive Lineman J’Marcus Webb lost his shoe during a running play. And Smokin’ Jay Cutler was the guy to do it!

Ndamukong Suh is at it again!

Two years in a row, Ndamukong Suh was named Dirtiest Player in the NFL by a poll taken of actual NFL players. Now, I’m impartial to dirty players, and I hate douchebags (and Suh certainly is one of them), but there is something inherently funny about a guy getting kicked in the balls, so I’ll let it slide (and so will the NFL, since they decided not to fine him.)

Chargers vs. Ravens

In a weird conclusion to a game, all the San Diego Chargers had to do was stop the Baltimore Ravens on 4th and 29, as they were up 13-10. Easy, right? Apparently not. Ray Rice caught a check-down pass, and made the Chargers look silly. And remember early in the season when I said I love it when Wide Receivers lay out defensive players? This video has got one of those.


After this week’s matchups, here are the current standings:

1) Guess That I Don’t Need Tebow* (10-2)
2) Squirrel Masters (9-3)
3) Ndamukong Sue (7-5)
4) So Call Me Brady(7-5)
5) Vinegar Strokes (7-5)
6) Team TOO Good (6-6)

*Clinched Pacific Division

In the hunt for playoffs

7) Team Bulaon Cube (5-7)
8) Team Leung (5-7)
9) The Bad Assets (2-10)
10) Team Captain Insano (2-10)

Mary and Jayson both take losses that move them down in the rankings, despite both putting up above 171 points (good enough for 3rd and 4th highest this week). Donna’s Team TOO Good moved ahead of Jayson and Evan’s team with a win, and is now in the clear lead for the last playoff spot.

Remember that there are 2 games left and anything could happen! Just one win or loss can make a difference.

I hope you guys had a fun Thanksgiving and Fantasy week! Enjoy the holiday season, and remember to set your lineups. Playoffs are in 2 weeks!


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