[Br]eaking [Ta]ckles

Posted: September 26, 2013 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , ,

This is your first LM note on our WordPress blog of the 2013 season! And in light of recent events, this LM note is Breaking Bad themed, bitch!

Matchup Recap

GAME OF THE WEEK: Team Leung vs. The One Who Knocks

This week’s Game of the Week was a matchup of undefeated teams, Mary’s team The One Who Knocks took on Evan’s Team Leung. Team Leung had some strong plays: Cam Newton accounted for 4 Total TDs for 30 points, #2 overall draft pick Adrian Peterson continued his strong season with another 20 fantasy points, and Denver Kicker Matt Prater rode the coattails of Peyton Manning’s offense for 18 points, leading all kickers in Week 3. Even newly-acquired Colts running back Trent Richardson, who was not expected to make a significant contribution after being traded Wednesday, scored a 1-yard TD and added 10 points. However, Hakeem Nicks (-1 point) and the Buffalo Bills D/ST (-2) must have been in some fugue state and didn’t show up to work on Sunday, and Evan’s week didn’t end up quite so well.

Bills D/ST – not quite there.

It probably would not have mattered anyway. Mary’s team, The One Who Knocks, got 30+ points from Drew Brees, Jamaal Charles, and Eric Decker, and 20+ points from Joique Bell and Julio Jones, and ended up with 196 total fantasy points for the week for a 62 point win over Evan’s team, The One Who Answered the Door, who sadly left Denarius Moore and the fresh-from-suspension Josh Gordon doing work on the bench (67 points combined).

Note that since her Week 2 acquisitions of Drew Brees, Julian Edelman, and Joique Bell, The One Who Knocks has posted the highest fantasy score two weeks in a row. Great technique, Mary. Like the league office Kingpin.

Quizz On Your Face vs. Vinegar Strokes

Another team that started the week 2-0 is Jayson’s team, Quizz On Your Face, which got off to a great start on Thursday night when LeSean McCoy picked up 158 rushing yards and a TD for 24 fantasy points, and Michael Vick adding 15 more. Solid games all around from Quizz On Your Face led to 132 total fantasy points to finish off the week. After an injury to 1st round draft pick CJ Spiller rendered him scoreless, Kristine’s team Vinegar Strokes was down 129-90.5 by Sunday night. She got big games on Monday Night Football from PPR-legend Wes Welker and breakout Tight End Julius Thomas, but they only combined for 35 fantasy points, and  came up short 132-125.5. Quizz On Your Face now moves to 3-0 while Vinegar Strokes is having their Big O-3.

This is the second loss by 10 or less points for Vinegar Strokes. It’s unfortunate, but we are definitely wishing her the best.

Dangerous Boners vs. Wizzard Sleeves

While the Monday Night Comeback didn’t work for Kristine, her significant other had some better luck. Sue prefaced this matchup with this Facebook post:

To all of us, Sue, to all of us.

To all of us, Sue, to all of us.

[Insert hilarious picture of dangerous boner and sleeve of wizard here.]

Not quite sleeve of wizard, but the best I could find.

This week wasn’t so great for the Dangerous Boners. 6 of Sue’s players had 7 or less points, including two of her top draft picks, Colin Kaepernick and Stevan Ridley. And this was with her star player Ray Rice injured and already on the bench! She still led 96.5-84.5 on Sunday night, but the unstoppable combination of Peyton Manning and Demariyus Thomas, or who I call the Salamanca twins of NFL offense, drove the Wizzard Sleeves to a 135.5-101.5 victory.

Just breaking records, no big deal.

The Wizzard Sleeves are still undefeated, while Sue’s team is looking for a win, and better play out of Colin Squidward Kapernick.

RG3’s Sexy DC Bitches vs. Katniss Evereen and Pitta Mellark

I woke up on Sunday at 7:30 AM because I got an ESPN alert that Reggie Bush was out for the week. Not a great wakeup call for a hangover. But Giovani Bernard made a fine replacement scoring me 20 fantasy points. The real cherry on top was watching the Bengals beat the Packers, but I digress. Anyway, the tributes from District 12 get 20+ points from 5 players, including 31 points Cleveland Browns TE Jordan Cameron, who continues to play amazing football while the Cleveland Browns, well…you know, keep being the Cleveland Browns. In contrast, Jen’s Sexy DC Bitches get 4 players with -1 points. Which leads me to my next rant:

GAH Jen! You forgot to replace Fred Davis and Kai Forbath from your injured Redskins’ lineup! On top of that, the Redskins lost! If they won at least they’d get you a point! Go get their backups!

The Bad Assets vs. Everyday I’m Russellin

In a battle of 0-2 teams, Stefanie’s team The Bad Assets somehow loses this game even when Antonio Brown gets 9 catches, 196 receiving yards, and 2 TDs for a league leading 43 fantasy points! That guy had hands like magnets, bitch!

But KJ’s team keeps on Russelin’ and gets 4 TDs and 23 fantasy points from his QB, and another 38 from New Orleans Saints TE Jimmy Graham, who actually scored the second most fantasy points this week next to Antonio Brown. Sorry Stef. But I guess it could be worse. If you saw the Seattle game, you’d know that Russell Wilson actually got pulled in the 3rd quarter because the Seahawks coaching staff thought that a 31-0 lead was good enough to just call it quits. Man, those Jacksonville Jaguars are really bad.

There there, Stef. There there.



NFL News

Your NFL News this week is brought to you by Mary.


Next Week’s Preview

Next week, only 2 of our 4 remaining undefeated teams will come out unscathed. Wizzard Sleeves will go up against Quizz On Your Face, while The One Who Knocks will take on Katniss Evereen and Pitta Mellark.

Wizzard Sleeves vs. Quizz On Your Face

Wizzard Sleeves looks to be unstoppable with both this seasons scoring leader Peyton Manning and Demariyus Thomas, who work out of the best offense in the NFL. But Quizz On Your Face is no pushover; both Michael Vick and LeSean McCoy are having great comeback seasons under Chip Kelly’s lightspeed offense.

The One Who Knocks vs. Katniss Evereen and Pitta Mellark

The One Who Knocks and Katniss Evereen have an interesting matchup, The health of Reggie Bush ties this matchup together. If he plays, he can be the X-Factor that scores a long touchdown and wins it for District 12. But if he ends up sitting out Week 4, Joique Bell proved that he can be the workhorse for the Detroit Lions and make a big fantasy impact for The One Who Knocks. But really, I can only imagine this matchup ending with me saying, “I won.”

Dangerous Boners vs. Team Sexy DC Bitches

Both of these teams are 0-3 and looking for their first win, and one of them is about to get it. Jen’s Washington Redskins have yet to score 100 fantasy points in a week, but a good matchup against the Oakland Raiders might just be the spark her team needs. Those Redskins, they’re not done until Jen says they’re done.


Other News


This week is the beginning of BYE weeks. For those of you who might not know, its when a team takes a week off and doesn’t play. Good for their health, bad for your fantasy team. So DON’T a player on their BYE week. This week, its the Green Bay Packers and the Carolina Panthers. Next week, and every week after, its someone else. So don’t start a Packer or a Panther this week! Or you’ll here from this guy (who will be in an LM note every year until our league is no more):



I’ve seen a lot of people participate in making waiver claims. And that’s a great thing. I want to keep encouraging that. Except when you guys take the people I want. C’mon! Justin Houston AND the Chiefs’ D/ST? Who decided to pick those guys first?!



Mary has done a great job doing LM notes in both this league and in her other league, League of Ruinations. I suggest you check out her blog for that league as well. It just makes it more fun.




So non-football related, but the SERIES FINALE of Breaking Bad is this Sunday. So on Sunday night, if you have to choose between one of the greatest QBs to ever play (no not Matt Ryan, I mean Tom Brady), and one of the greatest, most compelling drama series of all time, just choose Breaking Bad. The Patriots will play next week anyway. Well, I guess this was football related.


Power Rankings

Speaking of Breaking Bad, we end this week’s LM note with Week 3’s Breaking Bad-themed Power Rankings:

Rankings Week 3


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