Another Grate Week

Posted: November 6, 2013 in Uncategorized

I hope you are all well rested after that extra hour of sleep. Just kidding. I know all of you spent it drinking. That’s okay. It’s time well spent. Now enjoy this LM Note and the ridiculously dark nights that start at 5 p.m.

Game of the Week – LEUN vs. DBNR

This game was actually kind of boring to watch until about 7 p.m. PT. Oh wait. I meant 6 p.m. PST. I still haven’t adjusted.

Bleary eyed from a night’s worth of drinking and unwilling to let go of her bench players for a new D/ST, Sue played the Broncos whilst on bye. (She also played the 49ers D/ST in her other league, and they were also on bye. She just gives no f*cks.)

At any given time during the first two rounds of games, Evan was projected to win by anywhere from 10-30 points. Even with paltry contributions by Vincent Jackson and DMC, he maintained a solid lead with strong showings from Adrian Peterson and Cam Newton. Plus, he played a D/ST.

The tide turned dramatically during the Colts-Texans game. Evan had a 16 point lead and Trent Richardson left to play. Sue had Andre Johnson, and the Texans were playing with backup Casey Keenum. Andre Johnson catches a 62 yd. TD pass within the first minute of the game. He catches another 41 yd. TD pass 10 game min. later. Before the day was out, he would accumulate 9 receptions, 229 ReYDS and 3 TDs in all. He gives Sue 57 fantasy points, more than any other player this week, even record-setting Nick Foles. Having to play catchup, the Colts were unable to incorporate much of T.Rich into their offense, and he gives Evan 8 fantasy points. Sue takes a magical win. Tom Brady congratulates you!

Quick Hits

WZSL vs. KJ – This matchup was tight tight tight in the morning. I’m talking like a 1-3 point difference in the projections. Then Darren Sproles, who WZSL just acquired by trading off DeSean Jackson, gets injured and leaves the game with nothing to show for it. KJ, on the other hand, benefited from the sick Seattle comeback with 20+ points from both Marshawn Lynch and Russell Wilson and yet another great game from Jimmy Graham. KJ’s slow descent up the Power Rankings is starting to show in his win record.

BDAS vs. VSTR – Speaking of Power Rankings climbers, BDAS racks up yet another win! Even with Aaron Rodgers leaving the game early because I asked God to smite him with a shoulder injury, stellar performances from everyone on her O-line, including Chris Johnson, AJ Green and Eddie Lacy, allowed her to rake in her third win of the season. At this rate, she’ll be leaving the underdog category in a couple of weeks.

SDCB vs. MARY – Keenan Allen is really working out for Mary’s team. And with Gronk back in the mix, she’s on a roll and takes a definitive win over SDCB.

KEPM vs. JOYF – One week does not a trade analysis make. But right now, John got the raw end of the deal. JJ picked up 31 points from DeSean Jackson, plus big wins from Giovani Bernard, Tony Romo, Matt Forte and HOLY HELL ZAC STACY. And despite big wins from Brandon Marshall and Jason Witten, Jayson just couldn’t make up the difference.

Power Rankings

Something amazing happened tonight. After a 12 hour day at the office with no lunch break (and btw, I do not get paid overtime) I decided to work out. And instead of being super tired, I just put in my all and let the workout be my stress reliever. It was great until about the last 10 minutes of the cardio portion of my workout. I had about 3 minutes left of my run and I wanted to keel over and die, but I also didn’t want to embarrass myself.

That’s when Hanson’s “Where’s the Love” came on my shuffle playlist and gave me new life. And so this edition of your power rankings are dedicated to the amazing teenybopper hits of the 90’s. Enjoy. And do not resist the temptation to download. I know at least one of you is gonna be like, “OMG I loved that song! Whatever happened to Mase?”

Around the NFL

Texans Head Coach Collapses at Halftime – Texans Coach Gary Kubiak collapsed on the way to the locker room at half time and had to be taken by ambulance to a local hospital. He was talking, but couldn’t sit up and seemed to be in pain and everyone kind of freaked out for a while, but we are glad he’s okay. I kind of want to make a joke here about his shock at the Texans being so far ahead, but this just happened on Sunday night and I feel like it’s too soon. At any rate, he is currently up and “in good spirits” and under medication that helps break up clots that cause strokes. We hope he gets well soon.

Dolphins Embroiled in Bullying Scandal – When you mix men, aggression and competition, playfighting and light hazing is inevitable. But Richie Incognito and veteran Miami Dolphins took that to a whole notha level. It started when rookie Jonathan Martin had an emotional breakdown and left the team. Rumors began circulating that the source of his emotional breakdown was the extreme bullying on behalf of the veteran Dolphins players and in particular, Richie Incognito. Incognito is well known for being a D-bag. He’s been voted dirtiest player in the NFL before and has been blacklisted from a number of teams based on his character. The media got a hold of voicemails from Incognito on Martin’s phone that was laden with expletives and racial slurs. Also, rumors of an expensive dinner covered by the rookies in a hazing ritual was confirmed through Twitter. Incognito has been indefinitely suspended (i.e. you know they are going to kick his ass out) and Martin is unlikely to return this season.

And in short, bullying is gross. The Bears would never.

Cutler & Marshall – one of the NFL’s cutest bromances.

This GIF is Amazing – And I don’t really have an excuse to put it in, but here goes.

Nick Foles Ties a Record – for most number of TDs in a game with 7. The only other player who holds this record is…

Never thought I’d see the day that Nick Foles and Peyton Manning would be comparable to each other, but what the hell. Congrats Foles!

Referees are Not Having the Best Week Ever – After the lockout, they negotiated some great health benefits, right? Like, I hope so.

I hope he’s not concussed.


I Help the Bears Beat the Packers – When the Bears play, I always have to post about it on Facebook to wish them luck or they lose. Don’t judge. It’s only weird if it doesn’t work. This particular morning, I called upon Our Lord and Saviour Jesus because we were playing the packers.

Then Aaron Rodgers got sacked in the first quarter, hurt his shoulder and was out for the rest of the game. The Packers played Seneca Wallace, a veteran QB with a bad ass name and no experience playing at starter with the Packers…so yeah. Bears win and I feel like I have a little bit to do with that. Also God.

Thanks, God.

I think this is the last of the bye weeks. I could be wrong. At the very least, we are almost done with bye weeks. Either way, rejoice and be glad. And don’t forget to bench your bye week players.

Good luck!


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