It’s Almost That Time of Year

Posted: November 27, 2013 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , ,

That’s right. I am talking about Thanksgiving, the second greatest football day of the year. Last year’s Thanksgiving brought us this moment that will forever live in our hearts.

BUTTFUMBLE!

Who knows what greatness will transpire from this year’s tight matchups? We start out the day with Green Bay trying to get an edge on the Lions in a close race for playoffs. Then the Raiders go against the Cowboys (this is the least interesting game, which is fine because you’ll probably be eating), and we end this blessed day with the rivalry game between the Ravens and Steelers. I can’t wait!

But before we carve the turkey, let’s take a look at how everyone fared this week.

Game of the Week – KJ vs. BDAS

Three points. That’s all this game came down to. Stef benefited from Eddy Lacy’s 30 points, given that the Packers are almost out of WRs.

The rest of her players, with the exception of Kenny Stills, performed just above average. Those above averages add up though. KJ on the other hand was either feast or famine with his players. He had 20+ points from Josh McCown, Kendell Wright, Jimmy Graham and Dez Bryant. These great players were countered with some really crappy ones – the Chiefs D/ST at -8 and then low single digits from Montee Ball, Mark Ingram and, surprisingly, Victor Cruz. By Monday morning, the two were 5 points apart with Stephanie in the lead, and it came down to KJ’s Anquan Boldin against Stef’s 49ers D/ST. Stef got an early start as the 49ers kept the Redskins to just 6 points. But Anquan Boldin had a great day with just under 100 ReYds and 2 TD. KJ managed to take the lead and even the countless sacks on RG3 couldn’t help Stefanie out enough. Three points though. This was a close one. Damn that Kenny Stills!

Quick Hits

KEPM vs. MARY – At the start of this matchup, the odds were stacked heavily against Mary. Then MJD had that breakout day that nobody thought would happen and it evened the score. JJ’s team would get a TD, Mary would get a TD. One of JJ’s players would suck, then Mary’s player would score in single digits. Up until about the third quarter of the Sunday night game, this matchup was projected only 5-10 points apart. Then Gronk got 2 TDs and handed Mary a decisive victory. So it’s true. Sadly, to the victor go the spoils, and the spoils are LM note responsibilities. That’s my own fault though. The last time JJ beat me I was like, “FINE but you’re writing the LM note.” Serves me right.

VSTR vs. JOYF – You know it’s a good week when you only have 2 players with single digit scores, and one is your kicker. Jayson was having a good week. Tom Brady was also having a good week, which is awesome for Steen. Unfortunately, Wes Welker, Julius Thomas, Frank Gore, and Jordy Nelson were all having bad weeks. Jayson takes the win. But Steen has a birthday! Happy birthday Steen! Here is a special Joseph Fauria dance just for you.

I feel like he’d be really fun at karaoke.

LEUN vs. WZSL – The projections promised a closer match. Then half of John’s players decided to phone it in. And when the Broncos pretty much had Moreno do all the work, Peyton came out of that game with only 11 fantasy points. Meanwhile, Evan got the typical 20+ point performance from Cam Newton and AP. And HOLY HELL JOSH GORDON. 47 points for Josh Gordon! Even though he was suspended at draft time (and Evan picked him up through autodraft), Gordon has really been an asset for Evan this year. And he certainly was instrumental in Evan’s win this week.

SDBC vs. DBNR – Since the Redskins didn’t play until MNF, Jen had the lowest Sunday night score this league has ever seen except that time the Redskins went on bye. But even with Jen’s late surge, Sue easily took this victory with Knowshon Moreno pretty much running the Bronco’s game against the Pats and some great work by Greg Olsen, James Jones and her mancrush.

LOL cute.

Power Rankings

Catching Fire-themed, obvs.

1044774-powerrankings-1385539743526Around the NFL

Pro-Bowl Voting is Open – Let us all give thanks that the NFL has not taken away the Pro-Bowl! Not that I actually care for the Pro-Bowl. I just like to vote and watch Brandon Marshall and the Bears D get in. This year, rather than going AFC vs. NFC, the game is unconferenced. The two players with the highest votes will become team captains for football greats Jerry Rice and Leon Sandcastle. The coach and captains will then draft their teams from the remaining candidates.

Can you imagine drafting with this guy? That sounds fun.

You can submit your Pro-Bowl ballots here. I pretty much voted in all the Bears candidates, a few Seahawks, everyone on my Fantasy team and people I think are cute.

Sunday Night Football: Brady vs. Manning – If you don’t live in a cave, you probably heard all the anticipation for these two QB greats to come head to head. What we learned is that it isn’t about QB vs. QB. The team matters. Knowshon Moreno was destroying the Patriots D for most of the game. The Denver D kept forcing all those turnovers. And then there was this sign.

But then the Patriots turned it all around in the second half. So many passing TDs! (Way more than Peyton, anyway). And then it was overtime. Like, 13 minutes of overtime nothingness. The Patriots had to punt the ball with just enough time on the clock for the Broncos to holla at a FG. But the Broncos punt returner effed it up! And the Patriots recovered it, kicked the FG and won. So really, this was a victory won by special teams and we can all continue to speculate who is the eliter elite QB.

Friendsies!

Personally, I think we should just settle this by saying that Peyton has the better endorsements, and Brady has the better hairline.

The Circle of Parity – The circle of parity forms every now and again when the league is competitive enough. When the Patriots beat the Broncos, they finally completed the circle. It’s like a circle of friendship, but with more injuries! Just follow it clockwise. Each team beats the one to its right, but was beaten by the one on its left.

Let’s all hold hands and give thanks.

NFL Playoff Contenders – Here is what the NFL Playoff projections look like right now.

Keep in mind that the Lions are actually tied with the Bears at 6-5, but are the playoff contender on technicality because they beat the Bears twice. They are also only half a win ahead of the Packers, who tied with the Vikings this past week. In the NFC East, the Cowboys are technically tied with the Eagles (both also 6-5). The AFC matchups are not quite so tight – the only tie is between the Broncos and Chiefs (9-2).

I didn’t really know how to end the news recap, so here is a random pecan pie.

I hope all of you guys have a swell Thanksgiving full of food, football and love. Enjoy the stomach pain and food coma following your overindulgence.

Good luck to you all. I know I am thankful for this league and everyone in it. Now go away and pretend I didn’t just get sentimental!

(Seriously, you guys rock.)

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