Come Little Children, I’ll Take Thee Away Into This Week’s LM Note

Posted: October 29, 2014 in Uncategorized

Sarah Sanderson beckons you to harken unto this post.

Happy almost Halloween! And what startling results after Week 8. While the matchups themselves were by and large lamer than bobbing for apples (not a sexual euphemism), the impact of those matchups are kind of a big deal. Meanwhile in the NFL, this past Sunday featured A LOT of scoring, which only means more and more fantasy greatness! Tom Brady had a 5 touchdown day decimating the Bears, but was soon to be topped by Ben Roethlisbergers 6 touchdowns against the Colts. What results? A fuck-ton of fantasy points, of course, and it showed. I can’t remember a week that had so many points, and such close matchups.

Matchup of the Week: The Newcummers vs. It’s On Like Gronkey Kong

How do you match Tom Brady’s favorite target on Brady’s best game of the season? You start Ben Roethlisberger’s favorite target on a Roethlisberger’s career day! GRONK scored 3 TDs Sunday morning, giving KJ 46 points, but Donna came back with a 2 TD, 41 point game from Antonio Brown in the afternoon.


Before MNF, Donna was down to KJ 154 – 176, but Washington Redskins DeSean Jackson and Barry Church combined for 27.5 points to grab the win, 181.5 – 176. Interestingly enough, KJ would have easily won had he played Tom Brady, but I’m assuming he benched Touchdown Tommy out of loyalty to the Bears. Kind of a rough double whammy. Donna unseats KJ as the #1 team, while moving to 5-3 and separating herself from the pack of 4-3 teams.

Quick Hits

RaShake It Off, RaShake It Off vs. White Welkers

Thanks for that, Larry.

Close matchup, up until Bongratz got this sweet 80-yard TD from Larry Fitzgerald to seal the game. JJ’s only player left on Monday Night, Tony Romo, suffered a back injury and had to leave the game. Plus, you know, he’s Tony Romo.

Team Leung vs. Bob’s Roethlisbergers

This was a blowout. Evan didn’t set his lineup and lost Reggie Wayne to an injury and Vernon Davis to a BYE week. And the Colts were getting blown out by the Steelers so bad that Trent Richardson didn’t even get to play. Chryst’l won 163.5 – 106.5, although if she had started Ben Roethlisberger on his record setting 6 touchdown day, she easily could have broken 200.

There was a lot of this shit going on Chryst’ls bench on Sunday.

Reverse Mormon vs. Your Mom’s Favorite Fantasy Team

Like I said, more of this shit.

The one low scoring matchup in a week with plenty of offensive firepower. Sue only puts up 105 points, and Gabe is able to overcome a -12 from starting the Colts D/ST to get the win and take back first place in the league.

Team Sexy DC Bitches vs. Don’t Make Me Get My Switch

I get jealous thinking about how Jen has both Drew Brees AND Andrew Luck. How can you let Brees’ 37 points go to waste on the bench when there are poor fantasy football-less children in Africa? Shame on you, Jen. It doesn’t matter though. Jen’s combo of Andrew Luck to TY Hilton has been making her a killing the last 3 weeks, and she just simply cannot be outscored.

Don’t Touch My Spork vs. The Bad Assets

Ben Roethlisberger has to throw touchdowns to someone, right? Emmanuel Sanders scores 3 touchdowns in the Steelers’ rout, earning Stef 42 fantasy points. Mary gets 43 from Arian Foster, but it’s not enough to overcome the 72 total points Stef gets from Aaron Rodgers and Eddie Lacy. Stef almost cracks the double benjamin mark, winning 199-180, and taking 1st place in the Pacific Division.

3 touchdowns and no win? Sorry, Arian Foster.

Playoff Projections

The standings last week were so close that this week’s matchups really shifted around the playoff projections. Take a look at the difference. There isn’t a single person in the same spot!

Wk7-Wk8 Standings

KJ was ahead of Gabe because of his head-to-head victory, but after losing this week, Gabe takes back first place and stands alone as the only 1-loss team. Stef ranked 5th overall last week in a pack of 4-3 teams, but after getting the top score of the week this week, she moves to 5-3 overall, 1st in the Pacific Division and 2nd overall. Chryst’l was 8th last week because she was 3-4, even though she had the 2nd most points scored in the league. This week, she won and passed Sue as the top scoring team, moving her ahead of the four other 4-4 teams into 5th place.

It just shows how competitive the league is. The upside to this is because most of the teams have such close records, making the playoffs this year is no guarantee for anyone, and there is still plenty of time to emerge victorious or entirely implode. And don’t forget that total points scored matter in the standings! Choose your lineups at your own risk!

Circle of Parity

A circle of parity is when everyone in a league has bested another team, but also been bested by another team. Am I explaining this correctly? Anyway, it’s a sign of healthy competition. We actually achieved this after Week 7 after Chryst’l beat Jen, but didn’t have time to discuss it in the LM note. Each team beat the team on the right, but was beaten by the team on the left.

Circle of Parity

Power Rankings

The obvious choice would be to make it Halloween-themed. But we do that every year. Also Marvel just shocked the internet by listing release dates for all of their movies until the second coming of Christ. Let’s talk about that instead.




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